Therapy for Couples & Other Family Relationships

Hope & Help for Relationships

Are you tired of fighting, without the arguments getting anywhere? Feeling like the conflicts are getting more frequent, about even the smallest things? Feel like all of this fighting makes you not like the other person or yourself? Tired of fighting about the same thing over & over?

couples therapy

Do you want to be heard & understood, but feel like your loved one isn't listening, doesn't get it or doesn't care? Tired of asking for the same things & never getting your needs met? Wish you didn't feel so alone in your relationship?

Do you feel like you're at an impasse? But not sure how to change that & what to do to fix it? Does it seem like you never get it right? Feel like you've tried everything & nothing seems to change?

Do you want things to be better in your relationship, but don't know where to start or how to make this happen? Want to check this out with someone who may be more impartial?

Are you looking for a therapist who understands the unique needs of LGBT couples? Someone who understands issues of coming out? Who knows that societal differences, such as homophobia, make a huge difference in the stresses on a relationship? That a lack os acceptance can make the difficulties of a relationship even more overwhelming? That gender can impact the dynamics in a relationship?

(For more information about my specialty in LGBTQ concerns, click here).

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then maybe I can help with:couples therapy

  • Reducing the conflicts - even about the smallest things
  • Feeling better about yourself & the other person
  • How to feel like your loved one is listening, gets it & cares
  • How to ask & get your needs met
  • Feeling less alone in your relationship
  • Getting the change you want to start moving in the right direction

Helping You to Make Your Relationship Better

There is nothing that helps us heal or grow more than improving our relationship(s). I believe we all have wounds & unmet needs from our childhood & early relationships. This can be very painful, but I also see it as very normal. The bad news is these painful feelings surface in our adult, present relationship(s), especially those that are most important to us.

Have you ever felt like "here we go again, someone is making me feel __" (you fill in the blank). It feels like somehow you are destined to make the same mistakes in partners & be treated the same in each of these relationships; treated in ways that make you feel the same bad feelings you seem to always feel. These associations & "triggers" are just how our brain works & it happens almost instantaeously. It's like when you smell chocolate chip cookies baking & it makes you immediately flash to your kitchen growing up. This is especially true with anything that has intense emotion attached to it. So, if your mother was always yelling at you when she was baking cookies, it is likely this association is going to be very vivid & it is not going to make you feel good about the smell of those cookies.marriage counseling

However, there is good news...these associations can be changed with conscious effort in the here & now. And the relationship that may currently be so painful, can in fact, be your link to healing. Through your current relationship(s) you can see your unmet needs met more effectively & not continue to feel hurt, misunderstood, uncared for or alone.

This means working on:

    • Improving communication
    • Changing your conversation and what you hear
    • Listening & doing a better job of meeting each other’s needs
    • Working on how you react to each other, so you don't keep repeating the same patterns of interaction
    • Healing your past hurt rather than expecting the other person's behavior to do this

This stuff is not easy. But, the effort pays off in not only repairing your relationship(s), but healing yourself from past hurts from unmet needs.

If any of this sounds familiar, please contact me to see how I might help you & your loved one. In coming to see me, you’ll both get to look at what's working and what isn’t in your relationship,& strategies to change things so you can have a more peaceful, loving & caring relationship. You'll accomplish this by learning new ways of interacting so you feel heard, listened to & safe.

Learn more about my counseling and psychotherapy experience or services for LGBT clients.

 

gay couples

 

"Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can".

-Ralph Waldo Emerson